Three stages, walked together — never sprung on anyone.
The recovering spouse is taught what's coming and gives consent before anything gets locked down. The accountability partner is equipped before they are asked to hold anything. Each stage has its own pace, and any of them can be paused.
Inventory
01
Name every device in the home.
Phones, laptops, tablets, gaming consoles, smart TVs, the router itself. The two of you work through the inventory lesson — usually one evening, at your own pace — and write them all down. Nothing is changed yet. Nothing is judged. The point is just to see the shape of what's actually in the house, because the cycle at 2am doesn't care which device is convenient.
You finish the inventory lesson with a written list, an honest picture, and no surprises waiting later.
Guided lockdown
02
Taught first. Then applied — with consent.
Before any setting changes, both spouses walk through exactly what's coming: what each tool does, what it can and can't see, what stays in the recovering spouse's name, what the accountability partner will and won't be looking at. No surprises, no surveillance framing — just plain, named decisions. The recovering spouse signs off on each item before it's applied.
Then the locks go in. Filtering on the home internet, the right built-in screen-time and content restrictions on each device, and accountability software set up the way it actually works — not the default settings that quietly leave gaps. Every account stays in your spouse's name; every master password stays in their hands. The lockdown is something they put around themselves, with help — not something done to them.
Cadence
03
Keep it alive. Revisit it. Be able to leave it.
The arrangement only works if it's tended. We give you a rhythm:
Weekly check-in.
A short, structured conversation between the two of you. The program gives you the script.
Monthly review.
Walk through what's still working, what's changed, what needs adjusting.
90-day re-consent.
The recovering spouse formally re-affirms (or revises) every lock in place. Standing consent is not a substitute for current consent.
Exit door.
If the arrangement needs to end — for any reason — there is a defined, dignified way to dismantle it. No one is locked into the lockdown.
The cadence is the difference between a one-time event and a way of living. It's where the technology stops being scaffolding and starts being normal.
start with stage one
Ready to start with the inventory?
The inventory is one lesson. From there, you and your spouse decide together what comes next.